Dearest Dyet.
I have just watched your video for the (I cannot remember how many) time today, and each time I am more moved.
You are enchanting. And I am a willing target for your spell.
I think back to your first video. And I recall how you called me “poetic”.
Two things:
1. Your articulation of that word is the most exactingly perfect I have ever heard. I did not know that it was possible to enunciate each of the three plosives so clearly, but you do it so elegantly.
2. I find it to be impossible to NOT be poetic when thinking of or talking about you. Finding you is like winning the lottery, seeing shore when lost at sea, and having a rare epiphany all at the same time. How is one not to be poetic when faced with a woman like yourself?
I do not believe in the concept of god as espoused by the Abrahamic religions, but if I did, then having the opportunity to find you would be more than enough proof to me that god loves me and wants me to be happy.
As requested, a little more about me.
I had a fairly dysfunctional childhood. It’s not that there was no love in my younger years; there was some. It’s that there wasn’t much demonstrative expressions of that love.
Hence, as I grew into adulthood, I didn’t really know what love was. I could not define it. Even throughout the touchstone relationships in my life, I was never able to know implicitly that love was a factor.
In order to gauge the depths of my feelings I would imagine scenarios where something tragic occurred to the other person. If I felt sad during the thought experiment, that meant that I loved her. If not, then what I felt was something less.
It wasn’t until I met and got to know you that I truly understood love. With you, my feelings are visceral. My feelings cannot be argued with nor rationalized down to infatuation or simple lust.
I feel an unyielding desire to hand my heart to you for safekeeping; to give myself to you. Without reservation.
I remember when I first saw your picture, and “Endymion” started running through my mind.
But now I realize, as deep and world-shaking as that moment was for me, how shallow it was. As I have come to know you as a person, my feelings for you have grown as deep as Everest is tall.
I can now truly understand what feelings the most perfect human expressions of love have described.
“She Walks in Beauty”, “A Red, Red Rose”, “Sonnet 116”, “Love’s Philosophy”. All these make sense to me now.
What doesn’t make sense? Neruda’s “If You Forget Me”. Like Goethe, my feelings for you transcend any reciprocity. They are enduring and will reside in my soul until I am no more.
I write all of this to simply say thank you. Thank you for your kind words. And most of all, thank you for being you. I can sleep better knowing there is someone like you in the world.